There is a new herd member arriving soon. After losing the elder in the fall, it has been a process deciding whether or not to send the intention out for another member of the herd to join us. However, the older of the horses are carry too much of the work for everyone and we needed a new, but steady addition to help with the client groups.
From his pictures and videos he seems to be a gentle and loving gelding with plenty of experience with people. He’s a draft breed, so large but gentle in nature. His eye is soft and kind and his demeanor calm. It is with great excitement that all the human members of the herd await his arrival. I, however, feel a twinge of anxiety when I consider how the baby; my beloved zebra will handle the arrival.
To the human eye, a zebra is very much a member of the horse family. They have a similar build, four hooves, two ears and a tail. But Zebras don’t really seem like a horse to a horse. Their language is slightly different, and most importantly they smell differently. It is extremely uncommon that a herd of horses will accept, adopt, and care for a zebra the way that Holly’s has. Most horses would be uncertain and scared of her strangeness.
All the humans that are entrusted with caring for this herd are prepared to help introduce and socialize the new horse and keep everyone safe. Holly’s owner is careful, knowledgeable and careful with her herd. I have doubt that with patience, the new horse will soon be a respected member of the herd. I know that Holly is careful and smart, I know that she can take care of herself and that the herd will watch out for her. But still, I worry.
As I watched her confidently tiptoe her way through the soggy field I realized that the fear I have has nothing to do with Holly and everything to do with me. I’m the one who is afraid to let in someone new and then accept the ripple of change that that creates.
In my world, I often feel like a zebra among horses; I look the same, but I’m not. My strangeness is enough to unnerve people who may not understand me and sometimes even enough to scare them into attacking from close or afar. I have accepted it as a part of my reality. I keep my distance until I can guarantee I will be safe if I move closer. I still remember the sting of hurt from misunderstanding or dislike. And I know now as I prepare to welcome a new member of the herd that the memories of those hurts is what makes me worry.
‘What if he doesn’t like ‘us’?’ And by us I mean the zebras, Holly and I. What if he doesn’t like the way we talk, or the things we say? What if we can’t connect because he doesn’t understand our zebra-ness? Aren’t those the questions I ask of someone new in my life everyday? Every social situation? What if I move close, thinking it’s safe and you don’t like my stripes anymore?
If I were to ask Holly what she could teach me about this situation, I have a feeling she would look right at me, bat her eyelashes and say that those who don’t like my stripes are just not worth my time. Her confidence in herself and her pride in her zebra-ness is evident. She’s not worried about letting someone new in-she’ll decide moment by moment and trust her instinct. She will value herself, and stay with those that she knows value her no matter how long it takes the new horse to see her as Holly and not as a strange and frightening creature.
Maybe the most important learning here is about the journey I’ve been on ever since synchronicity brought Holly and together: learning to love myself, and my stripes and to value myself as an individual and as a member of a larger herd. This is just the next lesson in how to handle many of the changes and opportunities that life brings. Really, it’s just another moment to learn to be more fully human from a zebra. And as always, Holly’s timing is impeccable.
So, as I look forward I am prepared to acknowledge the worry and anxiousness I feel. But I will also allow myself to be open-hearted and eager to meet a new herd member whether they be horse or human. And I will trust that I am wonderful enough, I am special enough to love, even if my stripes are a little different. But I will also understand that to truly connect with someone new, I have to be confident enough in myself to reach out with the intention of knowing them as well. Just as I trust Holly will, in all her zebra-ness, when Silverheart arrives at the ranch.
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